


Don’t Go

by randomascas



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Party, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 08:43:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14690517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomascas/pseuds/randomascas
Summary: Simon’s world is falling apart, and everyone’s leaving him. So what else can he do but drink?





	Don’t Go

_ Don’t go. _

Simon didn’t know why Lilette was leaving.

_ Si, I have to. _

But he was going to miss her.

_ I can’t lose you, though. _

And everything was falling apart.

_ We’ll call everyday. You’ve got this handled, Saunders. You’ll be okay. _

It was all such a fucking mess.

_ But it’s all… Lil, please. _

But she was leaving him, just like everyone else.

_ I can’t, Si. But tonight won’t be goodbye, I promise. Okay? _

And he was all alone.

 

*****

 

“Say hi to Lilette, okay?” Simon’s mom told him, as she handed him the keys. Suddenly, she pulled the keys back and added, “No drinking and driving. Call me first, if you need a ride. Or find a friend. Okay?”

Simon thought of the last time, the last party, and gulped. He had almost kissed Jeremy that night. And he couldn’t deal with it. Couldn’t even deal with what his dad would say. Or his mom’s face if they saw him. It made him sick.

“Yeah,” He agreed. “I’ll get a ride if you need one.”

She grinned, and offered him the keys again. He quickly took them. “Alright. Stay safe, Si.”

Simon nodded. “Love you, Mom.”

_ And so you should _ . It had been three weeks, and Simon still couldn’t shake thoughts of their opening night of Spring Awakening. Of his kiss with Jeremy. Of the last time his dad had actually talked to him.

“See you later, love.”

Simon was on autopilot on his way to Robbie’s house. He’d been on autopilot for close to a month, really. Ever since his world started to implode. Since he kissed Jeremy in the parking lot. Since his parents started fighting. Since Lilette announced she was leaving for Philadelphia.

It was her going away party, and Robbie’s dad agreed, after a lot of urging, to hold it at their house. That meant lots of liquor, which Simon didn’t mind. He didn’t think he could get through tonight sober.

There was a line of roughly ten cars parked in front of Robbie’s driveway when Simon pulled up, all theatre kids and their guests. He was running late, so more likely than not, he was the last to arrive. For a Thorne party, it was empty. For anyone else, it was a pretty sizable gathering. And Simon’s heart was in his stomach. He didn’t know if he could do it, honestly, and if it hadn’t been for Lilette, he would’ve turned around and gone home.

But it was her party, and the silver car that was parked just outside of the house was not too terrifying. There were other people. Simon could avoid him.

The door was open, just a bit, and some light fell out onto the front steps. It was cold, but Simon knew that he was right in wearing an old Les Mis Revival tee shirt as soon as he entered the house. It was like an oven in there. Simon didn’t know if it was the heating system or the body heat, but he felt could feel it radiating from everywhere. And he couldn’t see Lilette.

“Simon!” Jolene called. She started frantically waving at him with one hand. In the other, she clutched a red solo cup.

Simon slowly weaved past people to her. They weren’t great friends, honestly, but she was nice enough. “Hey, Jo,” Simon mumbled. “What’s up?”

She draped her arms over his shoulders, like she was trying to stop swaying. Simon could feel some of her drink, probably cheap beer, splatter onto his neck.

“Well, my best friend’s not here because of her boyfriend,” She was slurring her words ever so slightly, “and your best friend is off with her boyfriend, so I thought we could hang out.”

Simon smiled. He needed this, tonight. A distraction. And what better form than a drunk, sarcastic lesbian?

“Sure, as long as you can get me some of whatever you’re drinking.”

Jolene winked. “Oh, hell yes I can. Wait… right here.” She giggled, and left him to grab a cup.

Simon thought he was home free. Hang out with Jolene, get drunk, call an uber and go home. He thought too soon.

“Hey, Simon,” Jeremy mumbled, sliding in next to him. He was holding his own cup in hand, but one quick glance and Simon could tell that it was Sprite. It was Jeremy’s favorite, but Simon didn’t know how he knew that. He just did.

“Hey. What’s up?”  _ Don’t look, Simon. Don’t. _

“We haven’t really talked since the show. I just wanted to see… Well, you know. The whole bomb thing.”

Simon really needed whatever drink Jolene was going to bring him. “Forget about it, Travers.” He couldn’t say Jeremy. It was too much, in that moment. So he had to sound like a douche instead.

“Listen, I know-”

“I hope you like tequila!” Jolene blundered into their conversation, abruptly ending it. “And… Um… I really don’t know, I just kind of dumped some stuff into a cup of beer.”

Simon reached forward and took the cup from her with a smile. As he did, he caught Jeremy’s face out of the corner of his eye, and his heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t supposed to. Suddenly, Simon didn’t feel great.

“Merci, Madame,” He mumbled. Even though he was shit French student, he still tried.

“S’welcome.”

One more quick look at Jeremy, since Simon couldn’t help it, and then, suddenly, he downed some of his drink.

“Shit, Jo!” The liquid burned on the way down, and it tasted disgusting. “This is shit.”

“I promised liquor, not taste.”

“Solid point.”

Jo reached forward and took his hand with her free one. “Now, come on, they’re playing Cards Against Humanity in the living room and I’m not missing it.”

Simon tipped his head towards Jeremy in goodbye, and let the short blonde lead him towards the circle of kids, pressed around the coffee table. Lilette was still nowhere to be seen, but there was Francis, and Harmony, and Cheryl.

Simon slid in next to Harmony, and Jo half sat down on her other side, half flopped in her lap. Harmony reached across the blonde, and pulled her cup out of her hand.

“You, my dear, have had enough of this shit for the night,” She mumbled, passing the cup over to Francis. He dumped the rest of the contents into his own cup, quickly, like he didn’t want anyone to notice. Cheryl fake gagged.

Simon took another big gulp of his drink, and reached forward to grab the fanned out deck from the table. “I’ll deal?” He offered. No one made any moves to stop him, so he quickly dealt the cards, and chugged down some more of the battery acid that Jolene had mixed.

Hell, it tasted like shit, but he was already feeling a little less shit, so it was doing the job. But it was also almost gone, which meant he needed to refill. When he laid the last of the cards down in front of Harmony, he pulled out a black card and hopped up to get some more.

“I’ll judge when I get back, okay?” He called, but he wasn’t waiting around for their replies.

The kitchen was wide open, and Simon could see Lilette balancing on the counter, her back turned to him. She was talking to Violet about Philadelphia, and Simon wanted to cry. He didn’t want her to leave just yet.

But nor did Lilette, and he knew that, so he put on a brave face, and leaned against the counter. “Hey, sunshine,” Simon muttered.

“Sunshine?” Lilette didn’t even have to look at him. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Not too much, just some beer… I think…” He pushed back, and reached for one of the liquor bottles, and one of the open 2 liters. 

“You think?”

“Jo got me my last one.”

“Ooh, bad move Saunders.”

Simon just nodded. His cup was about half full of coke, but he couldn’t really remember pouring it. He’d gone back to autopilot mode, for that moment. With a sigh, he added much more than just a shot of whatever was in the liquor bottle. “I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah,” Violet chirped. She looked amused at his current state. But Lilette didn’t answer, because she couldn’t. Simon was losing her. He took a sip of his ungodly drink, and went back to the couch in worse spirits.

Things started to pass in a blur of “Bees?” cards, solo cups, and drunk laughter for Simon. He didn’t know how much he’d had to drink, or what time it was.

“In happy meals, now, they’re giving out… one hard working Mexican!” Harmony called. She was designated driver for about five other people, and thus was the only sober one currently playing.

“Mine!” Jo screeched. Her girlfriend did not look amused.

Suddenly, someone tapped Simon’s shoulder. Jeremy.

“Mind if I join?” He mumbled.

Simon shook his head, and sipped his drink. Jeremy smelled nice. And his hair looked really soft. “You look nice,” Simon mumbled. It wasn’t a lie.

“Huh?”

“You look nice,” He repeated. “I like your hair.”

“Oh, uh.” Jeremy looked at a loss for words. Simon leaned over and pushed it off Jeremy’s forehead. He turned red. “S-Simon?”

“Your eyes,” Simon slurred. His face was inches from Jeremy’s.

“Can I kiss you?” Simon didn’t know what he was saying, but he knew he wanted to say it. “I want to kiss you.”

“Simon, stop-”

“Simon, card!” Francis called. Simon ignored him.

“I’ll play one for him!” Jo cried.

The world was oddly colorful, and Jeremy’s eyes were so green. Simon started to lean in...

Jeremy gulped, and moved back. “Simon, I’m gonna take you home, okay?”

“Jere bear, why?”

“I’m taking you home. Now.”

Jeremy stood, and offered Simon his hand. Simon wouldn’t take it.

“But I don’t want to go!”

Harmony looked up at Jeremy, eyes full of concern. She’d definitely handled something like this before.  _ “Just pick him up,” _ She mouthed.

Jeremy nodded, and bent down. Simon furrowed his brows. “What’re y’doing?” The blonde boy quickly wrapped his arms under the brunette’s arms, and pulled him up. “Jere.”

“Simon, I’m taking you home.”

“But we’re having so much fun.” Simon struggled at his hold, but he was out of sorts, and Jeremy easily held him.

“We’ll see you guys around?” Jeremy called.

“Take care of him, okay?” Harmony reminded.

“Use protection!” Jo added.

“Bees?” Francis read out loud.

Jeremy and Simon stumbled out the door together, and Simon was not too pleased about it.

“Why can’t we stay?”

“Because it’s late.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Too bad.”

Simon suddenly stopped moving completely, and slipped out of Jeremy’s grasp. “Is it because I wanted to kiss you?”

“...No.”

“Do you not like me?”

“What?”

“I like you, and you don’t like me,” Simon started walking again, but Jeremy didn’t.

“You… What?” Simon wasn’t listening. “Si, wait!”

Jeremy broke into a run to catch up to him, and he had to grab his arm to stop him.

“I like you, Simon,” He admitted. Simon wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning. It wouldn’t matter anyway.

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“I like you too,” He repeated. “But I’m not allowed to like you.”

It hurt to hear that, but Jeremy pushed past it. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

Simon shook his head. “I don’t want to go home.”

“But we-“

“Dad doesn’t want me home.”

“Simon, I-“

“I can’t go home.”

Jeremy sighed. “Fine. You… you can spend the night at my house.” Fuck.

Simon slowly nodded, like he was trying to put together what he meant. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Jeremy took Simon’s hand, slowly, and led him to his car. Simon had a hard time buckling his seat belt, and he wouldn’t stop messing with the radio, but Jeremy didn’t mind it. He was a mess but he was a cute mess.

“Jeremy?” Simon said suddenly, after spending much of their ride in silence.

“Uh huh?”

“Are you gay?”

Jeremy chuckled, quietly. “Bi.”

“Oh.” Simon pressed his forehead to the window. “I’m gay.”

Jeremy nodded. He didn’t think he was supposed to hear that. Instead of saying anything, he just shifted slightly in his car seat.

“Did you know?”

“Huh?”

“My dad knows, I think. That’s why he won’t talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, Simon.” It was painfully obvious to Jeremy that he wasn’t meant to be hearing any of this. Simon had opened up to him, once, but not like this.

To Simon, however, Jeremy was the only person who could hear this. But Simon wasn’t really thinking straight.

“He hates me.”

Jeremy bit his lip. Simon’s dad was an asshole, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“He doesn’t, I’m sure of it.”

They pulled into Jeremy’s driveway, and, suddenly, Simon started to cry.

“He doesn’t want me.” He sounded hysterical, and Jeremy just wanted to hug him. So he unbuckled as fast as possible, and ran around the car to the other side. Simon didn’t even try and open the door, so Jeremy did.

He pulled the crying boy into his chest, and just held him. He quietly pet his dark hair, whispered song lyrics. None of them made sense, but they were sweet and pretty and all about Simon.

Jeremy could feel the tears that soaked through his shirt as he helped Simon into the house. Seeing him so broken hurt so much.

Simon needed help getting changed, and Jeremy had to lend him some clothes. He liked seeing him in his shirt. But Simon wasn’t going to remember any of this, Jeremy reminded himself. Simon was going to go back to being straight in a day and Jeremy was going to lose him again.

Simon stumbled into Jeremy’s bed, and started climbing in on his own.

“I’m gonna sleep on the floor, okay?”

“No, don’t leave me.”

“Simon, but-“

“Please.” His voice sounded more sober than it had all night.

“O-okay.” Jeremy slowly got into the bed next to him. He left about a foot of space between them, and tried to fall asleep. It wasn’t all that easy: Simon snored. But Jeremy was tired, especially after the whole ordeal, and at some point he fell asleep.

He woke up to sunlight through the blinds, and the smell of Simon filling his head. The brunette had snuggled into him at some point during the night, but, despite the cartwheels Jeremy’s heart was doing, he needed to get up before Simon did. He couldn’t bear it if he caused the other boy to freak out again.

Slowly, Jeremy tried to shift out of Simon’s grasp. Suddenly, Simon’s fingers curled around the side of his shirt and lightly pulled him back. “Jere...” He mumbled, still half asleep.

 

*****

 

_Don’t go._

Simon didn’t know why he was with Jeremy.

_A-are you sure?_

But he didn’t want him to go.

_I can’t lose you too._

And everything was falling apart.

_But your dad._

It was all such a fucking mess.

_I... I don’t want to think about it._

But he wasn’t leaving him, unlike everyone else.

_Okay. Okay. I’m not going anywhere, Simon. Don’t worry._

And suddenly, he wasn’t all alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry you had to read that. It was a bloody mess. I didn’t even proof read, okay? So yes. Also, please know that this was the only logical way I could see them getting together right now. And also I’ve never been drunk myself so I apologize for any inaccuracies. Thanks.


End file.
